Planning your wedding playlist and first dance

The short answer

Most wedding DJs work best with three things from you: a short must-play list, a clear do-not-play list, and a description of the feel you want, such as “Motown and 90s, building to house later”. Beyond that, let the DJ read the room. For the first dance, choose the song, then decide how long it should last and how it ends.

Must-play list

Must-plays are songs you would be disappointed not to hear.

• Keep it short. Around 10 to 20 genuine must-plays is a common suggestion. A long list stops the DJ from responding to the dance floor.
• Include songs that matter to you as a couple, not just songs you think guests want.
• Add a separate “nice to have” list if you have many favourites. The DJ can use it as a guide.
• Mark any song that must be played at a particular moment, such as the cake cutting or the last song.

Do-not-play list

The do-not-play list is often more useful than the must-play list.

• Include songs you dislike, songs with difficult associations, and any genres you want avoided.
• Think about group dances you do or do not want.
• If a family member is likely to request something you have banned, tell the DJ in advance so they can say no politely.

A list of 10 to 30 songs or genres is usually plenty.

Guest requests

Requests can fill a dance floor, but they need managing.

• Decide whether you want requests at all. Most couples do.
• Tell the DJ that the do-not-play list always wins.
• If you collect requests with the RSVP, send them as suggestions, not must-plays.
• A good DJ will play requests that fit, at a time when they work, rather than in the order they are asked.

Ceremony, drinks and evening music

Daytime and evening music do different jobs.

Ceremony. You usually need music for guests arriving, the entrance, the signing of the register and the exit. Civil ceremonies in England cannot include religious music, so check any song with your registrar. Our page on ceremony and drinks reception music explains how a DJ can cover this with a separate, quieter setup.

Drinks reception and meal. Background music that lets people talk: acoustic covers, soul, jazz, easy listening or quiet versions of your favourite songs.

Evening. This is where the DJ builds a dance floor. Many start with crowd-pleasers across generations and move towards your preferred style as the night goes on.

Your first dance

Choosing the song

There is no right answer. Some couples choose a song with a story behind it; others choose something easy to dance to. Well-known choices in the UK include “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran, “At Last” by Etta James, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley, “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran and “All of Me” by John Legend. Plenty of couples pick something completely different.

If you are unsure, listen to the song all the way through. Check the lyrics fit a wedding and that the tempo suits how you want to move.

Edited versions

Many first dance songs are four minutes or more. That can feel long with every guest watching. Your DJ can:

• play a shortened edit, often two to three minutes
• start at the chorus or a later verse
• fade out at a natural point

Agree the edit in advance and listen to it together if you can.

Fade into a party track

A popular option is to dance for a minute or two, then the DJ blends into an upbeat song and invites everyone onto the floor. It takes the pressure off and starts the party straight away. Tell the DJ which track you want and the exact moment to switch.

Choreographed and surprise dances

Some couples learn a routine, or start slowly and switch to a surprise upbeat song. If you do this:

• give the DJ the exact audio file you practised with
• rehearse the start cue with the DJ
• make sure the floor is clear and suitable for the moves you have planned

Other key moments

Agree songs for the entrance to the evening, the cake cutting and the last song. Some couples have a parent dance or a group dance too. The last song is worth thinking about: many couples choose something everyone can sing along to, so the night ends with the whole room together rather than a slow fade. Tell the DJ whether you want it announced. Our sample wedding running order shows where these usually fall.

Clean edits for family events

Weddings often have children, grandparents and colleagues in the same room. Most DJs can play clean or radio edits of tracks with explicit lyrics. Ask for it in advance, especially for the early evening when the room is most mixed.

Mixed-music weddings

If your families have different musical traditions, tell your DJ how you want them blended. For example, Bhangra and Bollywood alongside chart and classics. A DJ who knows both well will mix them naturally. See our page on Asian wedding DJs for more.

Let us find your DJ

Tell us your music when you enquire: what you love, what you do not want, and the feel of the night. We pass your enquiry to one hand-picked independent DJ who suits it, and you book with them directly. Get matched with a wedding DJ.